Two Worlds
by EvilRegalOncer
Summary: She has a new life now, but the pain of the old still refuses to leave.


**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own SM.**

**This is another one I dug up. Enjoy.**

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><p>"Hey."<p>

Startled, Setsuna glanced back at Haruka. The tomboy was leaning on the wall, arms folded and one leg bent back. "You make a habit of staying up all night or what?"

"I don't sleep well," she replied after a moment's pause. "What are you doing awake?"

"I made the mistake of drinking a Monster three hours ago." Haruka pulled a face. "So now I'll be up until dawn. Ah well. Now I can watch all those hentai shows on at 3 AM and Michi won't know." She grinned.

"You are…." Setsuna shook her head and chuckled. "I've never met anyone with a skull as thick as yours."

"I try." Haruka straightened and walked over to her friend. "You know, you don't have to act like nothing's changed."

"Excuse me?" The Time Guardian lifted an eyebrow.

"You act like you're living around us, if that makes any sense. Like you're physically here but your brain is a kazillion kilometers away." Haruka's voice gentled, a rarity for her. "Sets, there's a reason you've been fighting with us. We aren't supposed to be alone anymore. Being here in this life has allowed us to be close together; it's meant to be this way now."

Setsuna didn't answer at first, instead gazing back out to the night sky. Her hands gripped the balcony rail as if trying to keep herself anchored there forever. When she finally spoke, it came slowly. "I have never been like the rest of you. I was meant to live alone; it was my burden. I actually didn't mind until I was summoned to court and met Serenity. Then….it all changed. Haruka, do you remember anything about the Silver Millennium?"

"Ah…." Haruka tilted her head. "A bit, yeah. I remember Michi and I were forbidden and that we were all scared to death of Saturn. Seems almost funny now….and I remember a bit about you. Bothering you….you whacking me on the head with your staff…nothing much's changed, has it?" She grinned, but Setsuna wasn't looking at her.

"You were different then, Haruka. Believe it or not, you were. You were well-trained; you played the part of a royal princess of Uranus. You had a bit of an accent; people from Uranus tended to stress the second part of a word instead of the first. You didn't flirt as much and you certainly—well, in public you weren't as much of an idiot."

Her voice didn't change, but Haruka knew Setsuna well enough to detect a trace of wistfulness. Gently she set a hand on top of her friend's and was surprised when Setsuna didn't pull away. "Do you miss the other me?"

"…..yes, but only because it was in that time period. If the way you are now and what you were then were switched, then I would miss the way you are now." She took a deep breath. "You were always trying to get me to open up. And very, very slowly, I did. But then—"

"—then Beryl attacked." It all made horrible sense now. "She hurt you badly by destroying it all, and when you went back to the Gates, you probably closed yourself off." And now Setsuna could not take the walls from her heart again; it would be too much to bear if things came crashing down a second time. "Ah, Sets. I'm sorry." Haruka gave her a hug and again was surprised as the Time Guardian embraced her fiercely. "Hey. Shh."

"Haruka, I'm sorry. But—"She pulled away "—I can't afford to get close to you again." Setsuna turned and slowly walked back into the house.

Haruka ran a hand through her hair. "We'll make you renege on that promise," she said quietly. "Eventually."

"It makes sense," Michiru said thoughtfully as she lay her head on Haruka's chest. "But it's sad, too. I remember her as being very sweet but also shy. She always seemed to be with Serenity-sama…."

"Yeah, they were close." Haruka put her chin on the crown of her partner's head. "She wants to get close, I know. She just won't."

"I think Hotaru is changing that, though." The violinist smirked. "I caught Setsuna singing her a lullaby the other night."

"Ah, you think our little Firefly is the key?" Haruka grinned. "Why not?"

"I must admit, it's rather amusing to see you with her too…"

"Well, now that I know she's not destroying Earth, I rather like the little one."

"Wait and see, she'll have us wrapped around her finger—ALL of us." Michiru sighed, resigning herself. "I never pictured myself as a pushover."

"You are for some things." Haruka grinned and ducked her partner's slap.

And that, Setsuna thought, was the fundamental difference. Because as much as she loves Haruka and Michiru (and God, she loves them, so much it sometimes scares her) they are not the girls she knew before. True, even in this life Michiru has the bearing of a princess, but when Setsuna closes her eyes to picture Princess Neptune, the differences are vast and (to her) glaringly obvious. For everything they are to her—friends, fellow soldiers and once (very embarrassingly) shoulders to cry on—there is so much they aren't, and the fact that it is no fault of their own only breaks her heart a little more.


End file.
